As the bank's boss gets ready to return, 10 of his top bankers nip off to comedy school!
Last month, in Lloyds Loses Its Top Boss, I reported that António Horta-Osório, chief executive of Lloyds Banking Group (LSE: LLOY) had taken a leave of absence.
Stress testing
Horta-Osório, who took the reins at Lloyds in March, was ordered by his doctors to go on temporary sick leave, as he was 'exhausted by overwork'. Tim Tookey, the bank's chief financial officer, stepped into his shoes as interim CEO.
Initially, Horta-Osório was expected to be at home for six to eight weeks. However, it appears that he is now ready to return to work within days. Hence, at a meeting of the board next Thursday, Lloyds' directors are expected to discuss the Portuguese-born banker's return to work.
However, executive stress can be damaging to employers as well as employees, so Horta-Osório will, in effect, have to reapply for his own job. In order to protect its own interests, as well as those of shareholders, Lloyds will put Horta-Osório through a thorough physical and mental vetting before approving his reappointment.
If Horta-Osório does return to his duties, then the bank intends to appoint a chief operating officer or chief of staff to act as his 'right-hand man', taking on some of the CEO's responsibilities (as well as the associated stress). Also, if the top boss doesn't return until 2012, then David Roberts will become stand-in CEO in January, as Tim Tookey leaves in February.
Whoever eventually takes the reins at Lloyds, s/he will have to focus on the forthcoming disposal of 632 branches, either to mutual Co-operative Bank or newcomer NBNK Investments (LSE: NBNK). This sale, known as Project Verde, is required by the European Union as the price of state support for Lloyds.
Clowning around
In other news, Lloyds is attracting media criticism for sending 10 of its top bankers off to comedy school -- and I'm not joking.
According to its own internal magazine, Lloyds signed up a clutch of bankers to a two-day workshop with a charity that specialises in teaching comedy to prisoners and street youths. The idea is that the bankers 'step outside of their comfort zone' and 'brush up their communication skills'. In return, they give the school advice on business planning and fund-raising.
A half-day course in clowning or stand-up at The Comedy School costs £75 -- no laughing matter, given that Lloyds is 41%-owned by taxpayers.
Lastly, here are two of my favourite jokes about banks:
"Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world."
"I've stopped constantly ranting about bankers and consolidated all my rage into one easy monthly outburst."
If you can do better, then please post your jokes about banking in the comments box below!
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