FOOL'S EYE VIEW
Another Ten Things I Hate About Money

By Cliff D'Arcy
January 22, 2004

I thoroughly enjoyed the recent series of Grumpy Old Men on BBC2, in which middle-aged grumblers pick fault with modern life. However, as a mere youth of 35, I was rather troubled at just how strongly I agreed with the commentators' views on food, fashion, football and so on!

However, these older blokes had very few complaints about money, because they were all successful actors, writers or musicians. So, on behalf of grumpy people (young and old) everywhere, here are ten of my money moans!

1. Personal finance is too complicated

Money management should be simple, right? After all, it only consists of budgeting and spending; borrowing and saving; investing and pensions; and insurance. And yet it's horribly complicated, with most of us struggling to understand what to do with our finances throughout our lives. I blame financial services providers, which have done their level best to confuse us, in order to empty our pockets more effectively. Damn their eyes!

2. I hate credit cards

Used sensibly, credit cards are a very useful budgeting tool - as long as we pay them off in full every month without fail. However, I've got into difficulty with debt twice in the past, which cost me thousands of pounds in interest on my plastic. Thankfully, I'm a reformed character and now use credit cards wisely. But, secretly, I'm still a little afraid of them - and what they can do to the unwary!

Find a better credit card here.

3. I hate pensions

Pensions: too complicated by half, if you ask me. There are company and personal pensions; final-salary and money-purchase schemes; tax relief, tax-free cash and annuities. Why should I have to hand over my entire pension pot to a life assurance company in return for an income of 5% a year, when I could earn just as much without permanently sacrificing my capital? Still, until there are obviously better alternatives, I'll just have keep saving money for retirement.

Learn more about pensions here.

4. I hate mortgage redemption penalties

The cheapest home loans - especially those offering fixed, discounted or capped rates - come with strings attached. These mean that, although the headline rates look attractive, there are stings in the tail if you pay off these loans early. Buying myself out of a long-term fixed-rate mortgage a few years ago cost me the equivalent of ten monthly repayments. It's important to understand that your short-term cherry could become a long-term lemon!

Find a better mortgage here.

5. I hate call centres

I'm not saying that I hate call-centre staff - past, present or future - who put up with poor pay, harsh working conditions and frustrated customers! It's the whole idea of the low-cost, run-on-a-shoestring, automated-call-distribution warehouse that gets me. Which deranged executive first came up with the idea of moving front-line customer service to locations that are frequently hundreds of miles from our local branches - or even abroad? I'd like to wring his/her neck!

6. I hate my 'Rule of Three'

I coined this phrase some years ago to describe the over-pricing that goes on in the financial services industry. The Rule of Three is a guideline I use which states that the most expensive financial products usually cost three times as much as their rival Best Buys (or have charges three times as high). This goes for most financial products, including borrowing, saving, investment and insurance products. Get on the wrong side of this rule and it'll cost you plenty!

Find cheaper insurance here and low-cost investments here.

7. I hate credit-card cheques

Over the years, I've had credit cards with most of the major issuers (see 2 above). One in particular, MBNA, is absolutely fixated with sending credit-card cheques to me (and my wife) at every available opportunity. We never use them: in fact, we shred them to prevent them being used fraudulently. We've asked MBNA to stop sending these cheques to us but, so far, it has chosen to ignore us.

These cheques may look like an easy way to pay off other debts or bills, but they usually come with strings attached, including no interest-free period and upfront transaction fees. Avoid using them if you can!

8. I hate the cheque-clearance system

If you deposit a cheque into a bank account in the UK, you're usually faced with a wait of at least three working days before you can withdraw money against it (ten working days for some building societies and banks). You start earning interest after up to five days, but the other party has the money debited on day one. The clearing banks make tens of millions of pounds every year from these delays. This doesn't happen in many other countries with decent banking technology, so why should we put up with it?

Find a better bank account here.

9. I hate obsolete savings accounts

One cheap trick operated by banks and building societies practically makes me foam at the mouth. They launch new savings accounts that, backed by heavy advertising, often end up in the Best Buy tables. These accounts are then withdrawn and, behind the scenes, the rates are cut - sometimes to as little as 0.1%. This is a disgraceful practice, because it hits everyone, especially the vulnerable - the elderly, disabled and children. It makes my blood boil!

Find a better savings account here.

10. I hate my mountains of paper

I'm a hoarder, which means that I have financial paperwork going back ten years or so - in boxes, bags, files, you name it! Even at work, I've started to build up a few magnificent paper piles for comfort. However, I'll be moving house this year, so I've already started to throw out some of my records - but it's taking forever!

If you'd like to tell us about your financial dislikes, click on the 'Have your say' link below. But don't have nightmares!

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