FOOL'S EYE VIEW
A Woman's Guide to Peeing Standing Up

By Jane Mack (TMFJane)
July 6, 2001

Apparently the definition of a bachelor is a man who has missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.

Sorry! Just my little joke. This isn't going to be a chap-bashing session (as if I'd dare) but it is a truth universally acknowledged that a bored husband in possession of a mid-life crisis may sometimes be in want of a divorce.

Actually, it's often women who do the walking out of a marriage that has gone stale, or where both parties have grown apart but, either way, there's no doubt it can cause ructions. Not just emotionally but financially too. Sadly, some marriages die -- for whatever reason. And there are times when a woman has got to pick up the shampoo and thoroughly "wash that man right out of her hair". In other words -- go see a lawyer.

A question on the Motley Fool's Women's Finance discussion board about a man who'd apparently given his wife and two-year-old daughter three weeks to get out of the family home, sparked a rather heated debate about her rights. He'd told her the house was wholly his because he bought it before they were married, and she'd believed him because she was too worried about precipitating a divorce to see a lawyer. The question was posed by a friend who was concerned that, alarmingly, the wife, who has little income of her own, had assumed her husband had the legal right to take this course of action. Not so -- particularly because there is a child involved.

Only a court can decide who gets what in disputes after marital breakdown and it's difficult to work out what the end result might be because there are so many different factors to take into consideration. But there are certain guidelines which will give you a rough idea of how the court will deal with such issues if one, or both of you decide it's time to call an end to it all. (Bear in mind that the rules are different if you're not married -- the existence of the "common-law wife" is pretty much a myth -- though you may still be entitled to a share in the home and financial support if you have children together.)

Assuming you're married and need financial support, whether you'll get anything at all will depend on which one of you has the most income and assets. If you're the bigger earner for example, then you could find you're supporting him. Your respective ages matter since the court will want to ascertain if you have much of a working life ahead of you and can eventually support yourself.

The length of the marriage is also important, as you're likely to get more for longevity! And your needs will also be taken into consideration but they'll need to be reasonable ones. You may be entitled to help with the mortgage, for example, if you can't manage it by yourself and you've got children to house. But, just because you've had holidays in the Caribbean twice a year doesn't mean the court will think your ex should pay for them to continue. There are two main areas for consideration:

Maintenance

You're entitled to apply for maintenance for yourself or your children. If it's for yourself you'll need to apply to the County Court or High Court, and you can ask either for regular payments for a given period of time, or for what's called a "Clean Break" settlement. In the latter instance you'd ask for a one-off lump sum in full and final settlement of all obligations. This is often the route taken by outgoing wives because it means they no longer have to be dependent on someone they don't necessarily like very much anymore and whose circumstances may change for the worse.

If the support is for your children you'll need to apply to the Child Support Agency (CSA) who will work out how much he is required to pay based on how many children there are and how much he earns. The only problem is if Darling Daddy decides to do a runner to another country as the CSA have no powers at the moment to assess child maintenance payments in such situations. This is rare -- but it happens.

Generally speaking though, both the courts and the CSA have wide-ranging powers to deal with recalcitrant ex-husbands who refuse to stump up. For example, they can ensure that maintenance payments are deducted directly from his pay packet. They can also freeze his bank accounts if you discover he's trying to hide money away. If he owns another property, a charge can be put on it so that when it's sold, the proceeds can be used for maintenance payments.

Assets

The main asset is generally the family home but you will usually be entitled to a portion of the assets that are connected with the marriage. Again, your ages, responsibilities, your earnings and the length of the marriage will be taken into consideration. But, if you have young children who need a roof over their heads, and you are looking after them, then the court will often give you the right to live in the family home until they reach 18 or have finished full-time education.

New laws have recently come into effect, which may also give you the right to transfer some of his pension fund into one of your own immediately. Previously, you could only claim some of it once he'd actually retired so, not surprisingly, women coming out of long marriages often opted for the "Clean Break" settlement, taking the house while he toddled off with his pension fund.

It's worth noting that if you and your partner can come to an amicable arrangement over the finances, a break-up needn't involve huge legal fees and a fight in the courts. However, it is always sensible to get any kind of amicable agreement officially approved by the court so that you can enforce the terms should there be problems later.

There's more stuff of interest to women (and men!) here