There’s a war going on in our office.

As the financial meltdown continues around us, we at The Fool have been getting our priorities straight.

So, this morning as I sat down at my desk, I opened an email sent to the whole office.

The subject?

The state of our kitchen.

You see, our resident kitchen goddess has gone on holiday for a couple of weeks, leaving the rest of us to fill her shoes while she's away. Now, you’d have thought it would be a relatively simple task. But there's a bit of history to this debate.

Over the past year that I’ve worked here, I’ve seen emails cursing the person who left their unfinished meal in the sink, damning those who left their mugs laden around the dishwasher and condemning those who dare to leave wet rings on the table where their mugs have sat.

There’s also one particular crockery vigilante that sits in our office. I’m not going to name any names, but this morning he threatened to, and I quote, ‘curse you [sic] PC’ if you didn’t leave the kitchen spick and span on his 'day' of kitchen duties.

To be fair, he has a point. There are some serial offenders here. Take, for example the person who leaves a spoon on the water dispenser every, single, morning.

Or the person who continually throws their spoon into the sink. I’ve been reliably been informed who you are. Then again, it must be due to the early onset of arthritis preventing them from bending down to the dishwasher.

Vigilante, have a heart.

Kinda reminds me of when I was at uni and the word ‘hygiene’ didn’t exist. I didn’t dare use anything in my kitchen halls. The kettle alone had things growing inside it that scientists would only find on Mars.

At least here it's clean. And as much as I may jest about the email, the injection of fear has meant I could almost see my refection in the tabletop today.

Who says threats don’t work eh?

As regular readers of my blog might have guessed, I was away from work last week.

Although the bf and I didn't go away, we spent a lovely relaxing week here in London -- which culminated in an all-day cinema trip last Friday, during which I picked a film (Mammia Mia - brilliant) and he picked a film (Tropic Thunder - gross, silly, violent, and some more gross).

Anyway, during Mamma Mia -- before I could be distracted by Pierce Brosnan's rousing version of 'S.O.S' -- I concentrated enough on the plot to feel a real affinity with Meryl Streep's character, Donna. It isn't just that she jumps about in dungarees for most of the film and generally seems a bit stroppy. No: the bit where she sings 'Money, Money, Money' was the part that really got me.

It must be funny in a rich man's world, she sings. Yes, I thought as I munched on my popcorn, it must. Whereas I have to work all night and work all day to pay the bills I have to pay. Ain't it sad?

That said, the super-rich folk who've masterminded and invested in London's Westfield shopping centre development might well be quaking in their designer boots right now.

The super mall, set to be the largest inner city retail centre in Europe, will open at the end of this month -- and no doubt the launch will be accompanied by much ceremony, many celebs and lots of London style. But with the British economy sliding towards an almost inevitable recession, is this really the time to be opening a colossal cathedral of consumerism?

I suppose they don't have a great deal of choice now but to throw the doors wide open, promote the place as though all our lives depend upon it and hope for the best. Still -- I wonder if the centre would have been designed on such a massively ambitious scale had its backers been able to forsee the credit crunch and all its foul fallout.

The thing that I think might save Westfield is its focus on an upmarket, high fashion offering. Prada, Tiffany and Louis Vuitton have all signed up for stores in the centre -- and while the likes of me try to break our Topshop habits this winter, I imagine the kind of person who regularly shops in boutiques is probably not feeling the pinch in quite the same way as me. Or Meryl/Donna.

Nevertheless, I'll be interested to see how the mega mall fares over the next six months -- and which of its shops are the most (and least) packed on a typical Saturday afternoon.

And while I'm watching out for news of other people's shopping habits, I suppose I -- and many of the nation's other credit-crunched consumers -- will continue trying to reign in spending, pay down debts and keep costs under control.

But hey. I'm going to carry on singing while I do it. After all, it was ever a rich man's world -- as Abba so jauntily remind us.

Episode published: 06/10/08 | Listen To This Episode

In This Week's Episode
Are the Americans wholly to blame for the credit crunch? Should there even be a bail-out by the US government and what happens to the global economy if it doesn’t work?

David’s joined in the studio this week by Fool.co.uk’s editor, Ed Bowsher and Fool.com’s Analyst Todd Wenning who’s on the line from Motley Fool HQ in Washington DC.


David Kuo and Ed Bowsher in the studio, talking to Motley Fool Analyst Todd Wenning in Washington DC.

So will things ever be the same again on Wall Street, and when it comes to investing during these troubled times, does it truly pay to be greedy when others are fearful?

Also, check out Bill Mann’s article from the Fool.com website, Dear Wall Street, We’re Watching You, as mentioned by Todd in this podcast. Edited at 2008-10-06 18:07:38

I’ve been writing about the ramifications of the credit crunch ever since it began 14 months ago.

But this month, it really hit home.

First, two good friends of mine made headlines. Or rather, their employers did. He was at Lehman Brothers while she was at Bradford & Bingley. And no, neither of them were traders, making millions. They’re both just ordinary people, doing pretty ordinary jobs. Or they were….

Then my father, who’s in his early 70s, discovered his pension fund was haemorrhaging hundreds of pounds a week. He’d invested a lump sum six years ago into a complex financial product he didn’t understand but had read was safe. Needless to say, not on The Fool.

I felt terrible. At his age, he shouldn’t have any exposure to the stock market whatsoever. I knew this, being Foolish, but I’d never interrogated him about his finances – I’d never wanted to pry and I didn't feel I had the right. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But at least I could help him now.

His top priority was to put the money somewhere safe, where its value would not be eroded. I cautiously recommended NS&I savings certificates, because they’re tax-free and guaranteed to beat the Retail Prices Index by at least 0.85%, so his investment would always stay ahead of inflation. And, of course, NS&I is backed by the Government, so its certificates are 100% safe.

He was really happy with this, and invested in a three-year certificate last week. Apparently, when the woman at the counter asked him why he had chosen that account, he replied proudly: “Because my daughter’s the deputy editor of The Motley Fool!”

I just hope his faith is not misplaced. And that I’m not cursed. I do have a couple of friends who work for Deutsche Bank. Maybe I better warn them…?



Edited at 2008-10-06 16:19:36

I watched a recording of the Palin/Biden TV debate on Saturday afternoon, and then today I watched the 'Saturday Night Live' spoof of that debate.

It's brilliant. I don't think I've ever seen better political satire on the TV. It beats 'Yes Minister', 'Spitting Image', 'The Thick of It', Rory Bremner and anything else I can think of.

Watch it!

Edited at 2008-10-06 11:32:04

Episode published: 02/10/08 | Listen To This Episode

In this week’s episode:

When British Gas announced it was increasing its gas prices by 35% at the end of July the other providers quickly followed suit. So where next for oil and gas prices? And should you still consider switching to a fixed energy tariff after the latest round of price hikes?

Joining David in the studio this week to ‘talk tariffs’ are Florian Ritzmann from energy provider comparison service Xelector and Bill Bullen from energy provider Utilita. Neil Faulkner, our man in Germany, is also on the line.

We discuss the pitfalls of pre-pay metering, and take a look at meter fraud - Bill explains some of the ingenious (and highly illegal) ways people have defrauded energy meters over the years.

Plus, there's also practical advice from Neil on what should you do if you think you’ll struggle to make your energy payments over the next few months.

Florian previously appeared on Money Talk in April 2008 - Listen to: Fight Back Against Energy Price Hikes Edited at 2008-10-02 16:50:37

Here at Fool HQ we do our best to practise what we preach. But I won’t lie to you being a Fool it isn’t always easy. I’m the first to admit personal finance can be a minefield and the industry often just makes it all the more difficult to get your head around.

I’m sure we all have plenty of criticism on that so please feel free to share, but here are just five of my ultimate financial pet hates:

1. Exclusions, exclusions, exclusions – oh how I hate insurance policies that have so many of the little blighters for wriggling out of claims that the cover is hardly worth the paper it’s written on. (I have a particular bone to pick with this one, but I’ll write about that another day.)

2. Loss leaders – these are products which are pretty fantastic and draw in the crowds but they aren’t very profitable for whoever is selling them. They do, however, serve a very important purpose for the industry (and not for us, the customers). They give companies the perfect opportunity to dig their evil cross-selling claws so deeply into you until you give in and buy a pile of rubbish products just to stop them hounding you.

3. Infinitely detailed terms & conditions and the small print – they don’t exactly make for good bedtime reading. Is plain English really too much to ask for? Even when you read “Here’s our T&Cs in plain English” what you’re often faced with is reams and reams of incomprehensible babble.

4. Form filling – it should be so easy but even correctly completing the application form for the simplest of accounts can sometimes be a challenge worthy of The Krypton Factor.

5. Hidden catches – they’re all over the place just waiting to trip you up. Here are a few of my most despised:

• The savings account where you can make penalty-free withdrawals as often as you like as long as it’s in July! Such flexibility truly knows no bounds. Can this really be sold as an instant access account?
• Balance transfer credit cards which take away your 0% deal if you accidentally make one late payment. No second chances then?
• Higher lending fees on mortgages. The more you need to borrow of the house value, the higher the interest rate you’ll pay anyway, so why do you need to be penalised twice with this ridiculously unfair charge?

And so I could go on and on and on but luckily, for you, I won’t! Edited at 2008-09-29 10:02:50

This might spark some controversy among my fellow Fools. But I have to confess: I'm an ex-chequer.

I hate cheques. I avoid writing them whenever I can, and I (almost) loathe receiving them.

Of course, money is still money -- and you won't catch me turning it down in any guise, whether it be cash, a cheque or dodgy pirate deblunes. It's just that I'd prefer to be given whatever money I'm due in a form that won't lead to interminable amounts of frustration.

Finding a bank that's open when it's convenient for me to cash a cheque. In my experience, this is the modern/real-life equivalent of a medieval quest. Achieving this objective tends to require effort of Herculean proportions.

At the very least, it means getting up early on a Saturday morning -- and who's able to feel enthused about that?

A very nice lady gave me a cheque last week, which I've been carrying around in my wallet ever since. Yesterday, I caught myself thinking: Oh well, I can cash it next week, while I'm away from work.

Is this what we have come to? Do I have to take time off work to put the cheque where it's supposed to go?! It's ridiculous, I said to myself -- as I plodded to the nearest cash point in need of currency I'd actually be able to spend.

Which brings me onto another point. Who actually accepts cheques these days?

The list of cheque-friendly high street retailers is growing shorter and shorter, according to the BBC. Tesco is the latest to have banned the book. Their reasoning? Cheques take too long to faff about with at the till, and they're too susceptible to fraud.

The rise of switch transactions, credit cards, new technology and the faster payments systemhas, it seems, conspired to ensure that our chequebooks' days seem numbered. And perhaps you're feeling blue about that.

I've already laid my (debit!) cards on the table: the demise of the cheque isn't something that's likely to keep me awake at night. And even APACS, the UK Payments Association, agrees that their waning popularity is consumer-led.

My hope is that the people who've packed in cheques to embrace a new era of money management are using the best online bank accounts available.

Internet offerings such as Alliance & Leicester's Premier Direct Account (which pays a whopping 8.5% on balances) are unbeatable offline. In fact, several big high street banks pay pathetic interest rates of just 0.10% on in-credit accounts. Hardly inspiring!

So, if chequebooks are being consigned to the history books, let's hope these derisory deals are too... And that this 'new age' for consumers will feature better returns on our cash -- as well as fewer frustrating trips to the bank! Edited at 2008-09-24 17:42:39

Episode published: 24/09/08 | Listen To This Episode

In This Week’s Show

David’s a little star-struck as he takes a look at how to have a more fruitful retirement with the help of former Coronation Street star Annie Hulley and Fool.co.uk’s Jane Baker.

Annie, author of Spending the kids’ inheritance shares her thoughts on children’s expectations when it comes to receiving an inheritance, why 70 is the new 60, and the pitfalls of leaving your retirement plans until the very last minute.


David with Annie Hulley (centre) and Jane Baker.
Spending the kids’ inheritance is published by HowToBooks and is available now. RRP £9.99.

David reflects on the rise of the BOMADs (that’s the Bank of Mum and Dad) while Jane shares her thoughts on ways to put more money aside for your pension, and whether a property portfolio makes suitable pension substitute.

Plus, your chance to hear David’s legendary impression of Coronation Street’s Mavis Riley. Oooh, I don’t really know! Edited at 2008-10-02 14:08:42

Have you ever Googled yourself?

I must confess, I have. A few times actually. I’m not sure why, but every now and then I type my name into the engine to see what comes up.

In my case, The Fool appears, along with some articles I wrote while on work experience. And, if you scroll down a bit you’ll see ‘my’ Facebook entry, where I reveal my true identity as a balding Chinese man.

If you don’t believe me, look for yourself.

That is what I look like in the morning.

However, it’s one thing to fall into the trap of narcissism as I clearly have, but quite another to have it done for you.

Let me recount a tale my friend told me that had me in tears of laughter, and one I feel we should all take note of.

So my mate was on a date with a guy she’d met on a night out. Was she keen? Of course. Was he? Well, I’d better tell the story.

So there they were tucking into their l’escargot, or in their case, a Nando’s half chicken. The conversation was polite, as it often is on first dates. Light, and not too probing.

Then, half way through the date, he says:

‘Soooooo, what’s it like working at XX? Must be much better than when you were at XX…’

What?

‘Er, yeah. I saw on your Facebook profile that you worked at XX’

‘But I haven’t even added you yet’

‘Yeah but I found you’

‘So you found me, didn’t add me, and have been reading up about me???’

CUE IMAGES OF PSYCHO SHOWER SCENE

Needless to say, they didn’t kiss that night.

OK, everybody stalks people on Facebook. But it’s one thing to do it, and quite another to tell people like Mr. Airhead did.

I was reading a press release the other day saying just how much information people can get about you on social networking sites…and it's not just fraudsters.

In fact, as the press release said, even prospective employers play the Googling game.

It gave me great comfort to be told by Ed that I was Googled before being offered the job here.

Thankfully, my slate was clean. But if you leave your Facebook profile open for others to see, the question you need to ask yourself is would you mind your future boss seeing that photo of you in halls dressed as a drag queen? Or would you want a potential partner to know that you have an extreme passion for stamp collectiing?

If you prefer to get to know them before revealing details such as this, perhaps you may want to consider keeping your Facebook profile private.
Unfortunately, when it comes to Google there's not much you can do about the things that come up. Apart from behave, of course.

But keep it private! That way you can avoid any more of those Norman Bates moments...