The Bribble

[ September 8, 2000 ]

On Turning Fifty

By James Norris (jimsusan)

I turned fifty not long ago. My wife, friends and family made a big deal out of it. On the actual day I had a great time; champagne, nice food, some lovely surprises. I must admit I'm very fortunate.

There's no getting away from it though -- getting older presents you with all sorts of dilemmas, different priorities, changes in outlook, lifestyle decisions that have to be made.

Now, some aspects of getting older are good, some not so good. At the risk of boring you rigid (always assuming you read on of course!) I'd like to share some of the changes that I am only too aware of that now constitute me as a person. I'm sure some of you will identify, to a greater or lesser extent, with most of what I say. At least I hope you do, as it is this "common ground" that reassures me that I might just be normal after all.

As a first off, why is that when I look in the mirror, the face staring back at me seems a tad strange? What are those small lumps developing either side of my chin, those lines and shadows under my eyes and, worst of all, just what is going on with my hair? Now, I'm not bald but there is a definite thinning going on. How far will it go? Do I care? My dad still has most of his hair at eighty but my mum's dad was bald as a coot. Who will I take after? If it is the latter, on my journey to Slapheadedness will I cultivate the much-mocked comb over or will I just bite the bullet and go for a William Hague? See what I mean about choices and dilemmas? The diminution of hair on my head is coinciding with an accelerating growth of hair in my ears and nose! It's so unfair! Hey, hair, get back up there where you belong!

And then there's my feet. All my adult life I've taken the same size shoe. Until recently. The bloke in the shop told me not to worry, that it's normal to develop flatter feet as you age -- something to do with gravity and arches. I now have to buy a size to a size-and-a-half bigger than I used to. Still, it hasn't affected my mobility thankfully.

I won't mention my eyes and my ears 'cos they're not too bad. Oh yes, and then there's my blood pressure. Doc said he hadn't a clue what might be causing it to be high (picked up on a routine check). I don't smoke, eat healthily, don't have too much stress, I'm happily married and love my work. Doc says I'll just have to take these pills to control the pressure to prevent heart trouble. Doc also says that most of the adult population have high blood pressure and don't know it! OK! Just gimme the pills!

I've become acutely sensitive to noise -- any loud noise, particularly modern pop music. Last week my wife and I went to see an Agatha Christie play in Leeds. It was great. When we came out we had forty minutes or so to kill before our transport home arrived. We decided to pop into a city centre pub to kill the time. Bad move! We had one drink and then left post-haste. I kid you not, the noise (music) was so loud it gave me an instant headache! But then again it's me that's the problem. I can tell by my radio habits. Over the years I've progressed from Radio 1, Caroline etc. to Radio 2, and now I don't listen to anything other than Radio 4 and 5. Yep, I sure am becoming a radical in my radio preferences.

And then there's the telly. I'm gobsmacked here I must admit. Now, I'm no toffee-nosed intellectual by any stretch of the imagination, but I do own a telly (a nice one actually -- Teletext, Nicam etc. etc.) but I find the only programmes I like to watch are the ancient repeats! You know the ones -- Fawlty Towers, Inspector Morse, Frost and, my current favourite, Whatever happened to the Likely Lads? I love the repeats of Dad's Army and, I'm going to reveal all here, I yearn for the day when they start repeating (again) Cagney and Lacey!!!

Current TV programmes seem to be fixated on cooking, changing things (mostly with inferior materials) winning something or, the most weird premise of all IMHO, filming people living together who occasionally vote to eject somebody! Weird! And yet these programmes command the ratings so it's me again who's out of step.

I find myself thinking about things that five or ten years ago were way down the priority list. You know, pensions, investments, insurance, money or the lack of it in future years. Hell, I've even started visiting websites dedicated to such things! Can you believe it? I even contribute to bulletin boards concerning such mundane things as banks and bank shares! The most alarming aspect of this is that I actually enjoy it. See what age does to a normal well-balanced individual?

Reaching fifty does have its plus points however, and I'm determined not to progress to become a reactionary old sod. I love my computer (an iMac in a gorgeous colour). I've just acquired my first mobile phone which I'm tickled pink with. I'm still married to the same gal I started out with thirty years ago (some achievement these days, eh!) and she's still the same fresh faced sixteen-year-old I fell in love with. I have a circle of friends ageing from twenty to eighty, which enables me to comprehend, in some part at least, that age does not matter in the slightest.

Generosity of spirit is what counts and that is ageless. Life has taught me that it's all about grey areas, and that a black and white perspective on things is rarely the basis for tolerance and understanding.

Reaching fifty, and hence getting just that little bit nearer to that great (or is it grim? I don't like the word, grim!) reaper in the sky, holds no fear for me and I'm pleased about that. Next big landmark is Sixty, so until then I'll just continue as I've always done. I'll get up each morning and do my best, that's all any of us can do and that's an admirable ambition if ever there was one.

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